Sorry...I fell off the wagon; and it hurt. Embarrassed to post my update; but oh well. I will try to provide a timeline and conversations had below.
falling off the wagon is a perfect way to describe the cycle... i hope you won't stay away from the board if you should fall off of the wagon again...
it's hard to say anything to you because you already know that giving her what she wanted did nothing to advance reconciliation... and it is good you recognize that... but i will say it anyway... and not because i want to give you a hard time, but because someone else reading the boards may be able to use my perspective...
basically, she won this round... she finally got you to do what she wanted... you were manipulated by your WW who used the standard tricks of the WW trade... she got her pay-off: you to say that you were not done with the marriage... you to "just hang out" with her (like friends do)... she got to parade you around her family--"see? he still wants me."
and you got your pay-off: the chance to be close to her... to once again, let her know what you need from her--just one more time just in case you haven't been clear (you have been clear)...
and now this all buys her more time... more time to pull back... after all, she didn't say she was committed to the marriage... she didn't say she wanted to reconcile... she might even tell you that she's just not sure what she feels, and so she needs more time... more chances to "hang out with you to see if anything is still there,"--which i find offensive, and you should too...
unfortunately for you--your pay-off was short-lived... it wasn't really what you hoped it would be... it was like cotton candy... a split second of delight that melts away all too soon--leaving you unsatisfied...
so now what are you going to do? you say you will NC again... but what will you do differently? what will you do when she comes beckoning? because she will... you have to determine for yourself whether or not you want to live in this purgatory-like state... i hope you don't... it's not a good place to be... but only you can choose how you allow others to treat you... in any case, please come back whether you stay on the wagon or not... especially if you fall off--okay? because you are able to recognize that this didn't work for you, you really are further along than you realize...
