Yes, it was very helpful, I thank you. I usually don't let the whole situation get to me, but I think I have had too much time to think about it. What I do know is that she knows I am mom and she's only got one. It was such a struggle in the beginning as a new mom with another woman in my daughter's life pretty much from birth. But I am confident in my role as her one and only mother. She was with her dad this weekend and all weekend she texted and facetimed me multiple times per day. She's so cute.
You nailed the feeling like an outsider part. Feeling like an outsider in your own child's life is really difficult. Or where they have a separate life you don't know much about. although my D certainly fills me in......
Oh, an moving, I am going to have to try to just make it work here for the next 7 or so years. I make a decent living, but here it is barely enough. I pay an extradorinary amount in rent, but can't buy because I don't have a downpayment. We live pretty good, but my only savings is my 403b plan. There is no extra money to put away unless we live very minimaly, but there is no point in that. I want her to enjoy life now.
This weekend was a little rough. D10 went to her dad's Saturday morning and no one was available to hang out or go anywhere, so it was just me the whole weekend. With the exception of my patients I visited on Saturday. I got stuff done, read a book, wrapped, cooked, cleaned, shopped, and gymmed. Kept myself as busy as I could. It was just lonely.
Yesterday I found out FF's sister blocked me. We were friends, now we aren't. And she doesn't come up in the search. We were as of last Friday however. Either she got off FB or he told her to block me, probably making up some story. I am jus trying to figure out where I went wrong. At no point did I go psycho ex GF. I let him go and left him alone. He hates me for some reason, but whatever I guess. One thing I really learned with DB is how to end an R with dignity. No calling, begging, pleasing, chasing. It's simply "if you want to go, I am not going to stop you, have a nice life"It doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, it just means I am going to have self respect. I never ever want to be the psycho ex who can't let go.
Busy insane week. Hopefully I get it all done. I could use a hand this week, lol. Oh well. I am sure D10 will help as much as she can.
