Infidelity/WAH, my story pt 11, filing for D

[Caz49]

'I am less and I am more' makes perfect sense and it resonates with me.

Also I am the same as you, if my H had asked for changes I would have been willing to make those changes...my H isn't one to be introspective, ask for repairs to fix our broken marriage.
He wanted what he wanted...wanted me to be happy, but happy with what we had and how we lived (which centred around his needs) and then coming back at weekends to have sex, spend lightening speed time with us and rush off again...all in the guise of 'I'm doing this for us'

I also try not to show my reactive side any longer...although I don't get much chance as we very rarely text and I haven't seen him for 6 weeks. My reactive side reared its head in texts and I no longer (or try my hardest) to not send any, other than money and children issues.

You talk about ruminating thoughts...this is me but I'm working on this too with a technique my IC taught me.

Well done DD on passing her test, you deserve huge credit for seeing her through that, so well done you too!

Please don't be terrified...you've been through the toughest times ever...this is a hurdle and you'll sail over it, recuperate and conquer that patient list. Be super kind to yourself, and allow your body and mind to heal. You're no good to your patients if you are not at your best. Give yourself time.

Thinking of you.