I want to Stand, but think it's hopeless.

[Gordie]

Yes, I have gotten to the point of wanting the pain to stop. That is totally reasonable. You have to remind yourself that the pain is temporary. It’s like a young child who has broken her arm. To her, the pain is agonizing and it is, but as an adult you know it is temporary and it will fully heal in weeks or months.

No, I have not gotten to the point of wanting her totally out of my life but that’s because we have a lot of children together and due to their ages we will be enmeshed for a very long time.

Re hope. There’s a lot on these pages about that wicked four letter word—hope. I understand it’s power in my life...and pain. But I continue to see hope as a good thing in one’s life, as long as it is tempered with reality which can be pretty soul crushing at times.

Continue to seek His guidance. I struggle with that too. Is anybody listening to my prayers? I guess that’s where faith kicks in.