25yearsMLC 10 Later I FILE D part 8

[25yearsmlc]

except for the catty part of the ED issue, which may NOT be an issue b /c maybe h is buying or investing in a new treatment for patients that will yield h money (which I'm all for) -


my snarky chuckling about him having a possible ED issue, is beneath me.

My L was howling and I went with it, but now I feel bad about it.

And like I said, at some point, ALL of us are going to have issues of some form, menopause or ED, or illness or whatever.

We need supportive spouses for these times. Loyal partners, which I was but which I lacked. And which I resented...

Then I think about the FB posts of h calling his schmoopie the "love of his life" just weeks after we sep and BEFORE I even knew he was dating...his leaving me sick, and taking all the savings we had (outside the retirement accounts - which btw ARE frozen now, so neither of us can borrow from them).

I think and can SEE in these disclosures, all the money he spent on her and HER Daughter - with nothing for our kids -OUR d20 got financial aid and works 2 jobs and my son got her that grant for her college. H sent her nothing.

OMG, I guess I have to turn this over, just let God handle h and get back on my new "East Coast 25" path. New choices for MY present and MY future

but I feel like crying again. Damn - how could he abandon our family twice?

H had a tendency to repeat the same mistakes as he did before, which is odd for an educated person,

or maybe it's all about self awareness and reflecting on our choices...and hiding from the remorse or shame we MIGHT feel if we really reflected

which = getting back on our own paths.