Living in limbo and hating it

[Painful]

Hey Everyone,

Haven't posted in a while even though been following and reading as time allowed.

Anyway, wanted to vent. Exactly a year after BD and 10.5 months after moving out, my WW announced that she wants to proceed with the D. Don't know what's with her and the month of December; for the last two years she makes these life-altering decisions in mid-December. Probably something about starting a new year differently.

She proposed very-very favorable (for me) terms, asked if I'd agree and not contest and said she'd do all the papers and file. I'd be stupid to contest what she proposed, so she obviously wants it done painlessly and in the shortest time (3 months in our state).

Here's the main point of my message today: Even though the possibility was always in the back of my mind, the reality has hit me REALLY hard. Felling very down and distressed again, almost the same as at BD. I guess all throughout I had a flicker of hope that her A would end and she would think about recon but all that seems to be squashed now.

Hate hate hate the thought of losing her, 50% of the time with D11, family closeness, and even the in-laws (with whom I always had a great relationship) FOREVER. I'm pretty sure I know the answer to this q but want to ask: CAN ANYTHING AT ALL CAN BE ATTEMPTED AT THIS POINT TO SALVAGE IT?

Sandi, Arista, Blu, guys -- ANYTHING AT ALL???

Btw, I followed DR techniques pretty well, I think. Other than initial begging and trying to change her mind last year, I've been good at very limited C, no talks about R/A/AP/M, going to the gym, losing 25-30 lbs, GAL whenever possible, being civil and upbeat during kid exchanges, etc.