There is something you really really really need to do.
Every hear of STFU? Yes, that's exactly what it means. I don't mean this in a mean way either. You need to stop talking. Just stop. Answer questions regarding the kids. You need to not talk to her at all otherwise. No more apologies, explanations, relationship talks, trying to solve her problems.... (you really took the time out to make step by step instructions on how to do something she couldn't figure out???)
Yeah I did. Thought it was the right thing to do. I let her down and failed to be there when she needed me soo many times in our M. Since I’ve finally seen the light and understand not only how wrong Thi was but the emotional damage I inflicted. I no longer feel right about acting this way even more in the face of what she’s done and continues to do.
Originally Posted By: Ginger1
STOP EVERYTHING! It's been suggested by many before to make a 50/50 schedule, just as if you were separated. Then there are no questions about GAL time, too much, too little or whatever. Split your GAL time evenly. Done. Because that's the way you are going to be living.
In house separation is so hard, especially with someone who exhiits zero respect for you. SO you need to just be very quiet, do your thing, and she does her. The only communication you need to work on is her GAL time, when is yours and regarding the kdis. Nothing else.
You can do this if you desire a better life for yourself.
So we had discussiOn divorce messaging. It got a little on the emotional side
She feels incredibly hurt about the thousands of times I left her (wasn’t there for her said bad things) and how I discount all of these because of the Affair (her words)
She’s angry I want to wait until mid January to not associate Xmas with D) She’s mad that she gave me her version of this and I “waited intentionally” until now to give my version to her a week out from when she wanted to tell.
She is almost hysterical in her need to get away from me.
I suggested we each have 50/50 split on days because we will when we move out. She said of course I’d still help with pickups and drop offs (shuttling kids around) I said while we still live together sure. Once we each move on we each have our own weeks and I don’t think it’s fair to expect me to do this on my weeks off. She started crying got hysterical etc. said she can’t believe how mean I’m being and hurtful.
I just walked away with her crying but not sure if this was the right thing to do.
Did I f up in stating this??? I thought this is what 50/50 split was about we each have our own weeks... it’s not me having to continue to run kids everywhere on her weeks even though it will probably remain more convenient for me to do so...
She said she didn’t want to be anywhere near me anymore.
She Demands we start mediation ASAP in Jan feels like she’s given into my timeline repeatedly and I’ve given nothing....
Finally told her let’s just tell parents and kids day after Xmas like she wants... told her I’m done.
Me 47 STBXW 44 M ~20 D13 S15 BD mid 17 A Disc. 2 months after BD but evidence found ~2yr OM decade older S Imminent D Soon after
