Act Now or Cry Later

[HaWho]

Thanks Ownit, Job and Peace for the support.

Job - h is significantly less cheery this holiday season. Usually he peps up this time of year but so thus far. On the contrary he has seemed very irritable and quite irrational. It reminds me of the year building up to BD. Except, I see it for what it is and unlike before, I don't engage for even a nano second. And also, he seems to self correct later.

Here's an example. I forgot s had an altered schedule one day. I asked h to help as it makes way more sense schedule-wise for him to do so. It only puts him out 30 minutes whereas It makes me 1 1/2 hours late to work. So I asked h to help. His answer: "too many things come up at the last minute. No, s can walk to school." S is kind of close enough that he could walk except he was just getting over being really, really sick. So I told h this. (As he lives downstairs he does not know that son was up and down several nights, coughing and feverish.) And this was the first day he was well enough to go to school; I didn't want him pushing it by walking. So I told him this. H's answer: "there are too many last minute changes in the schedule, s just needs to figure it out himself. I went to school sick all the time." Lovely.

So I repeated back exactly what h said and asked I had this right. (Secretly I was hoping that when he heard it back he'd hear how stupid it was and re-calibrate.) Nope. He told me this was all correct. Me: "okay" and walk away. So I told s I'd go to work late and take care of it for him.

By the time I was back from walking the dog, h had texted me saying he'd help. And later that day, he texted me to say s was having warm soup, lots of veggies and a healthy fruit drink. I praised h.

There have been about 3 or 4 scenarios like this. He starts off super cranky and irrational. He acts out of spite. And then self corrects the scenario and makes sure I know it.

Now h has caught it, is quite sick, and that's been interesting to watch too. He's a distancer when he's sick. He gets cranky and doesn't really allow help. I swear he recreates his childhood; a scenario where no one cares for him and then he makes it clear he's uncared for. Very PA. Like if I offer him tea he says no and then simultaneously makes his own in a super huffy way. It's bizarre to watch. I don't think he realizes what he's doing.

One day I told him he was a cranky old goat of a thing. He smirked and tried not to laugh. But the kids chimed in and said he had a bad attitude. He covered his mouth trying not to smile.

As for me, I've been keeping busy. I am looking forward to seeing family for Christmas as we're going back east.