Along the lines of what Ownit wrote, my concern is that as your w seems to be getting the jitters, sounds like she may be looking to settle things back to how they were prior to the filing.
Seems to me that was a nice spot for her: freedom/fun/newness with OM and meanwhile you there to hold down the fort and be there for her.
She is a massive cake eater. It reminds me of one of the characters on the Sopranos: Ginny. The woman was on a diet and when her h was in the room she weighed all her portions on a scale and followed an extreme diet. And yet no weight came off, on the contrary she was gaining! One day her h returned unexpectantly and yep, Ginny was shoveling tons of food into her face.
This, to me, is the life scenario to which your w wants to return.
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
