DD6 will be turning 7 this week and I've already done some online shopping to get her requested gifts. I plan on having some cupcakes delivered to DD school for her birthday and I am sure she will be stoked. She is such an easy child, I swear she was born smiling. She is exceptionally close to WH and resembles him the most out of the three children. She is extremely empathetic and gentle, I am blessed to be her mom.
I have surgery scheduled on Monday (complications from the STD I contracted from WH after his affair.)I am nervous but remain fairly stoic around everyone. This has triggered me pretty hard and I have regressed a bit back to mind movies and replaying the awfulness of the behavior of WH when he was in his affair. However I have not used WH as my spew container like I did in the past. Instead when WH looks devastated and says he's sorry over and over again I just tell him to make prayer that this will be quick and safe and that we never have to go through this again.
I've done something a bit different than before. Before when I underwent surgeries/procedures I wanted WH there to provide support and comfort. But he has shown to be kind of...awful about giving me what I need. Usually he becomes irritable and even nasty. It's not just me but also when the kids have had to undergo medical procedures (DD had adenoid removed at age 4 and he was a dragon) So I've asked my cousin to take me and WH will be allowed to pick me up afterward. While this isn't perfect I think it will give me the feeling of safety I need.
M 10yrs T 13yrs BD #1Oct 2015-PA between WAH and COW BD #2 April 2016-WH resumed PA, she broke it off Jan 2 2017 WH says he wants divorce April '17-Letting go 2018 D busted DD8, DS6, DS3
