We all have been down the road that you are traveling at this moment. I questioned the advice that I was given, but in time, I realized that I had to save myself and the only way to do that was to go dim, i.e., not contact him unless it was an absolute emergency. I found by doing this, I could find my footing and begin to focus on what was important...me and my sanity.
Yes, you knew the man your h once was...but he's not that person any longer. He is the exact opposite or as I always say, the mirror image of the person you knew. That's why it's important to keep your expectations at zero for now because he's not going to be there as your h any longer.
As for worrying about bolstering his ero or not ruffling his feathers during the holiday...that's on him to deal with. He walked out and made this mess, so there are consequences to his actions and I would only be concerned w/myself and trying to get thru the holidays.
Hunny, it's okay to cry, vent, stomp your feet or whatever, but don't contact him...come here because there is always someone around who will respond to your postings.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
