I am a few days into giving H his space. I read and re-read posts and decided that my calling him so much really wasn't doing me any favors. Yes, he answers and sometimes even seems happy to hear from me and has something he wants to talk about but then there are other times he seems annoyed at life in general.
I realized that calling him at the times he is annoyed could make him link the problems he is STILL having to me. He needs to realize the things happening now are all on him.
I just had the fear that if he didn't hear from me, never thought about me, then if things started going right OW would get all the credit. He would think his decision to be with her was the right thing. And honestly I couldn't stand the thought of just being forgotten about like an old game you never play anymore.
I'm fairly certain that he will not reach out to me and will be a vanisher. Still terrified of that and so many other things. But up to now he has had OW and whatever nonsense they manage to get themselves into and good old me to reassure him he is a good person and not the huge failure he thinks he is. And of course, being me, I am afraid that he and OW will work everything out perfectly and be the happiest couple around or he will later say I turned my back on him.
