Separation imminent (cont.)

[Hermes]

So it's been a week... and I've had several more fails in terms of DB.
That said, not going to focus on them...
Also had some positives... She had issue at work... asked S15 to help with it... I looked on... he was not able to help... So I gave my 2 cents which she responded to positively... but she still wasn't getting the point... she went to bed... I wrote up a detailed explanation and took it to her (pretty sure she was IM with OM as she had HUGE smile on face when I entered the room she is staying in) she said thanks... I also gave it to her in elec. form and humbled myself in the process...

She thanked me the next day saying she really appreciated that I did this out of kindness and concern for her...
Today we had to go to school conf. Teachers expressed concern over D12 isolating and not doing work... after conf... we were talking about it by ourselves. She said, I know you think I'm responsible for this... I said, I didn't say anything and wasn't going to bring this up.

At car it got emotional again... sigh... she reiterated how she can't go on like this as she has to be able to work.

BUT later she thanked me again for help with Work sitch... as it really proved useful this week and made a big diff in her project.

No Idea what's going on in her head these days...

I know the D goes forward regardless... and that I need to protect myself and kids at this point in time...

I'm concerned about her behavior in throwing me under the bus subtly with the kids and in how she always speaks about kids in I terms (I will make sure S does homework... vs We will make sure...).
I'd like to have a conversation about us both working hard to not throw the other one under the bus...
I'd also like for us to start co-parenting counseling (with a Marriage friendly counselor trained in co-parenting) as this I think might help greatly our communication with each other etc.

I also need to go back over all the advice again (and on a daily basis) to cement this into my head...

I did read the No more Mr. Nice Guy book (some of which applied to my sitch) and most of the Married Man's Sex Primer (still working that one)...
Found myself getting more resolve reading these that I deserve better... which at first kind of scared me a bit... highlighted a number of sections of both... need to add these to my growing list of advice and then go back over it all to whittle it down into course of action that I can refer back to at least 2x/day. as I'm having trouble with Balance/Consistency in my actions...

Guessing what I do is less important (in terms of DB technique) right now than being utterly consistent and balanced for next 3-4 weeks. (I've been happy, sad, melancholy, morose, upset, quiet, but have a hard time staying with one of these).
And have a hard time trying to be happy and upbeat (have shown euphoria going above and beyond)... but guessing this means just a mild contentment with the sitch (as in at peace...) vs all smiles and happy?

Thougths?