New LBS dealing with WW Part 2

[Parkema]

Hi Joe,

I suppose I’m as good as anyone in responding to your situation, I was also in a very toxic atmosphere after I found out my W was in a PA which was highly detrimental to my boys and me.

Please be aware if YOU choose to leave you open the door for the AP/LO to walk straight in and basically take your place, that means co-parenting YOUR children. You need to make sure you can handle the thought of this happening and him sleeping in your bed.

The feeling of being TOTALLY replaced, all the handy work all the new pictures on the walls everything. IT’S REALLY TOUGH TRUST ME.

BUT –

Instantly I was rid of their madness and so was my boys, now the AP/LO had to pick up the workload I did around the family home is he capable? Does he want to or is it just about the sex?
The board offers many principles based on DR and a founder principle is detachment, well you don’t get more detached than moving out of the house and away from her BUT THIS COMES AT A PRICE.

I am now in control of everything to do with my life, I have no one to answer to but him upstairs and it has made a massive difference to my attitude. I’m more confident, happier in respect to not having to face the rollercoaster of their R playing out in front of me!
No longer do I hate the thought of her coming home after work to start the continual conflict just because I was in the way of her seeing her AP/LO! All is well with me and eventually with time I am now better able to manage my emotions and those pesky triggers.

I still see WW almost daily due to our need to see our boys regularly but her seeing Mark in control and confident always with a smile on his face just messes with her head, “how dare you be this well-adjusted when my life is one of constant ups and downs…”
It has served me well in allowing me to be better able to work on my boys and my life and the DR principles, some would also say this makes me MORE attractive..!

IDK but I have found peace and focus to better work on reconciling my M as this is my ultimate goal but either way I survive.

Would I do it again with all the knowledge I have now? Maybe not BUT I did ask her to leave and she was having none of it. JUST BE SURE YOU CAN COPE WITH THE DAY AFTER YOU LEAVE AND DON’T HAVE ANY REGRETS.

I’m rooting for you.

Mark.