Thanks for coming back Blu! Great to hear from you. I have some questions and maybe you can share some of your thoughts about it.
Is there something your H can do right now that would make you feel differently about the M in a positive light?
It sounds like you're really trying to come to a place of empathy for your H to forgive him, but do you see if that can lead to a path for you to be able to accept him and the past and salvage the M?
How has your H reacted to you being in this place where you're not sure about the M and its future?
Is there anything more your H can do to make amends for his past choices?