Adjusting to being a LBS....

[Subitai]

Stupid move of the day... one of our favorite performers announced new tour dates less than 30 minutes ago IN OUR TOWN and I texted her if she wanted to go. She texted back "SURE!" and so I got tickets for us. This may be dumb, but I also hope it will remind her of the other times we've gone and seen this performer. Those were usually instigated by me as a 'surprise date' type thing. If I keep it chill and act as friends, I hope it will be okay. We also have tickets from before the BD to a different fav performer in Jan, and we're still planning on going to that. I am hoping some of these callbacks to better times will help... but they may hurt.

I still don't understand why she doesn't want to talk about working on the R. We aren't fighting, I'm 180ing, we laugh at each other's jokes. It's just... cold. That wall of the BD is there, and since she's said it, there may be no way back for her.

But I will keep DB'ing, letting her proceed with the Big D, and try to not get hurt too much by all of this so that if she DOES come around, I'll be in a position to accept it. I am anticipating a HUGE wound after we tell the kids, one that I will have a hard time getting past. I'm prepping myself for that, reading co-parenting books, reading The Smart Divorce, all of that.