Thanks Gordie. I knew I didn't handle it correctly. I'm trying to get better.
The situation is a little worse than I described (from how I handled it I mean). The truth it, I did know where she was going and who she was going with. I was not worried about what she was actually doing. My issue is that this MLC situation has caused me to be possessive and controlling. Not as much in how I treat her (well, except with comments like I made to her in this situation), but in my head. I wasn't that way before, but I see that I am now. I don't feel like it is unjustified for me to be that way, but it isn't helpful or healthy. What I wanted was for her to show enough respect to communicate her plans with me. Not ask for permission, just let me know. Again, I recognize my issues and am working on it. Thank you for the direction...I need it!! And yes, I did believe her when she said she would see me tonight. She really hasn't lied to me throughout this. She may withold the truth sometimes, but doesn't actually tell me lies.
So in the evening when I got home she had just got home. We chatted a little but it was hard for me because of how I felt all day. She made a comment about how cute her friends kids were. I asked if she got to spend much time with them and she said a little. I followed up with, I wish you would have let me know that you were going to go ahead and stay the night. She said she figured I knew. I said that it was up in the air when she left and that I wasn't sure. I then changed the subject to something else. I didn't make a big issue of it but said my piece and moved on. Our communication the rest of the evening was ok.
Handling her now is hard because she shows so many signs of getting better. I know she is't there yet, but she isn't in an affair, seems to be actively trying to better herself, is improving the relationships between herself and others. She just isn't really working onus. I can still tell she is in MLC, but her behavior is improving. It makes it hard to drop the rope because I feel like that makes me the one being distant. I KNOW better, but it is still a delicate tightrope to walk. Keep hitting me with those 2x4's and I'll continue to get better.
