waw maybe

[Parkema]

Bhappy2,

“I look back to so many situations years ago when a female at work would come in and announce that she was in the process of getting divorced, everyone would lend an open ear and give sympathy. Now I have a better understanding when they would lay the ground work that the H was abusive, then you meet the guy and he is nothing that was explained by the ExW. Funny how these W's have to plant misinformation to reinforce their WW” < Classic WS behavior, someone should write a book on it…

I assume you are wanting to reconcile your marriage..?

When I first started to research the madness of an A I came across an article with the croix of it suggesting that when you get to the point where you feel you can no longer continue to fight GIVE IT ANOTHER YEAR!

There are many principles/strategies regarding how to “manage” your situation, these boards are a great place because all have either lived through what we’re going through or are living through a situation like our own. The vet’s experience is vital BUT so is FACT! I’m an avid believer in the limerent affects (the fact I mention) in people probably too much! Limerence tends to fade over time and this is the gift you’re receiving at the moment.
If your frustrated at seeing little happening which can be deemed successful your still possibly too connected to WW, I feel you need to look at focusing more on you and forget about the journey your WW is on.

Remember you have no control of her so why get frustrated? Work on you and the actions that benefit bhappy2 NOT your WW, remain a confident, happy always smiling person and remain positive for a positive outcome. Negativity is contagious DON’T ALLOW IT IN.

The “give it another year” statement is beneficial IF RC a M as this helps dissipate the limerent affects it also strangely allows us to follow the DR principles which can only aid in either bringing the M back together OR prepare for a life without our WW.

One principle I follow is to slooooow everything down, no escalation of D even any talk if I can help it I do this with the belief that eventually if I’m extremely lucky my WW’s limerence will fade and whilst I’m showing the best Mark due to the DR principles she could turn her head back to the M and RC.

Hope this helps.

Mark.