180/LRT part 2

[dusty70]

Ah, I understand better now. It sounds like you're the one that wants the D and I get it, the same thing happened to me. At some point you want closure and to move on, and while it is "only a piece of paper" on the one hand, it can be closure as well if you are ready for that (which it sounds like you are).

AS
Believe me that I wish this wasn't happening but she wants out and I don't want to waste anymore energy trying to stop this. This doesn't mean I gave up DB'ing I just needed to move on and make my life better for my own sanity. If some day she realizes she made a big mistake and wants back in..... I'll cross that bridge if it ever comes. Right now I am looking forward to my new life without her.

It is really, really tough on the kids, no question. But try not to assign blame, she is still their mom and they are very confused and upset right now. The last thing a kid wants to hear is one of their parents talking trash about the other (boy do I remember that hell all too well from when I was a kid). So try to support them, and if they start speaking negatively of their mom then try not to feed into it, but help remind them of her good characteristics. I know that is extremely tough to do feeling the way you do right now but it is the right thing for the kids.

For the first few months post BD and telling the kids I was doing this and didn't realize it until my s17 called me out. Since then I have been a model citizen, this is the hardest to do because of what she has done to me but I really don't care anymore, all this did was hold me back and keep me stuck. When we told the kids that was the only time I said anything regarding our situation, I told them that I didn't want the divorce and that was it, I have and never will tell them what their mom did but I have a feeling my boys already know. That is something W will need to deal with, I will not engage in those discussions.

And what are we, chopped liver? Congrats, that's awesome news!!

LOL! No, none of you are chopped liver. That put a smile on my face when I read that! Thanks!

For the D, is everything settled and now you're just waiting for a final date for it to be official?

For the most part everything is settled outside of a couple bills and some small amount of debt(less than $5,000) I think the date is Jan 12. I learned(from my daughter) that she is moving out on the 22nd! Merry Christmas kids! argh!! I'll make it a great Christmas for them!