I think many of us might feel insecure about R after the whole MLC trauma
WE can learn from the past and many of us will find and sometimes better R and M if we choose
I would work on self esteem-build it with more power filled self messages- you can learn this in therapy
If you want another R-seek it after you have recovered more self esteem -so you can attract a worthy partner
also once you create Physical distance from Wife--with your move --I believe it will be easier to let her more fully go and hopefully after you won't care what she does or who she meets
Good luck
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
Having someone you can talk to about your feelings during the divorce process, may help with your level of emotional stress. I mean, someone other than family.
There are a lot of books written on the subjects you've described about yourself. I don't know about where you live, but some places offer community classes that teach how to meet new people and interact socially. There are tons of free information on Internet about building self-esteem, etc.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
You will be okay. Glad that you ate in a better place mentally.
Best of luck with your new start.
R 25 years M 14 years S11 & S13 Working on it alone since Oct 2014 M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years) Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr. Next R chat Aug'17 Still together
So much has happend in my life since I last posted but ....I do have a question
So I am now living apart and have sold the family home ...just as I was told it would be ok ....and it is ....living on my own with my older children is well stressful they are teenagers and wow they are lazy ...got to get some ground rules in place before I get arrested for murder !!!!!
W and I are kinna civil to each other divorce has been filed ...inside granted and now just waiting for the six weeks to pass
I travel a lot to see my younger kids and not seeing them is killing me emotionally still getting very upset and I try not to think about the sitch.
W has banned me from going into her house and this makes it a little difficult when dropping off and seeing the younger ones ...and I know I am still way too attached and still I cannot let go ...seems no matter what she says or does however hurtful she is to me I cannot let go ...my choice and it will change however for now I am in a much better place than I was six months ago wow looking back at those times it was hard to see past the mist.
Been watching many motivational YouTube videos and this is really helping me work is goo still have my health some money in the bank W was very fair on splitting the equity so cannot grumble at all
So my question ....do I wear red socks or black on Christmas Day
Hugs
Ghost x
Me:48 W 41 M:18 T:26 2 D 18 & 4 2 S 17 & 13 Bomb: 20/7/2015 in house separation D filed 06/17 Separate houses 10/17 D Final 29/12//17.
Hi G , fantastic to see your post. Well done with getting on with your life. Things do improve and they do so at a faster rate if you move forward. If only some.of the posters had mentioned that to you !!!!!!!!!!!!!! ( 5000 times)
Tough re the younger kids but time will help.. teenagers !!! I have 3 at home + a 22 year old. I think they study laziness at school now and my crew are straight A student's. Still we love them ( mostly ).
Now for the serious business , as Huddy says , Fed , it's Xmas!!!
Stay strong and positive, your life is yours to control and enjoy, do both everyday.
Alright ghost!! This made my day. So so soooo happy to see you post something like this. You even got a live HAHA out of me with your question. Keep it up my friend. Glad you are on a good path and you came out of everything ok. I hope some of the veterans on new comers wonder over here so they can see how much you have grown. Awesome job!!
