I snooped and now I am devastated. I saw what H is buying OW for Christmas..at least some of it. I am sitting here crying just like I did at BD.
Obviously I knew she would be getting presents and I would not but I guess seeing it just makes it more real. It also makes me think I don't stand any chance at all with this man.
I remember every single bad/mean thing I ever did. Every word I ever said that hurt him. I am afraid that the MLC is just something I have made up in my head to make it so I don't have to admit that despite what I thought, despite what he said to me every day up to BD, I really just wasn't enough for him.
He truly just does not love me. No confusion. No fears. Just a man who no longer loves his wife and wants someone else. A better life and a new family that makes him happy.
My H and my family were my everything. To me they still are. To be thrown aside has done more damage to me than I ever thought possible. He doesn't even look at me whenever he "has" to be around me. He doesn't call. He doesn't care if I'm ok. I'm not even sure that most of the time he knows I exist.
I'm not sure this is the forum I belong on. I may have just tried to place H in a box that would give me a chance later down the line.
