Hi Gordie, Wow. I'm sorry that happened. My first thought was about this kids, what did they hear, if anything and what did they make of it.
I think that if there's any way you could carve out quiet time and space from her over the next day or so, that would be good. I didn't see it as issuing an ultimatum. I saw it as you are done, period, end of story and this is your hard boundary. Hey, sorry if this isn't DB friendly but we all have limits and boundaries and enough is enough. You'll know when the line is crossed.
What she does with this boundary matters far less than what you will do with it, frankly. I get that you needed to draw the line in the sand, with no room for misinterpretation. If there is a concern about 2018 tax issues which could adversely affect your agreement, do all you can to sign now. Protect yourself, your kids, your assets. As Kml has said to others, you can always re-marry later. Good, pragmatic advice.
Hang in there. Do not act from a place of emotion. xoxoxoxo
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
