As with this place its opinions and advice from all of us with nothing more than wanting the best for you. All the questions you pose are easy for us to say do this or do that but in the end its you who has to really actually do it ... actions not words works on both sides of the street. You are really the only one who can honestly answer when you should do and how you should do it ... just keep in mind this is YOUR choice and in doing so its not to get a response nor reaction from her .... If moving out got the MLCr to wake up and come back to the M we all would have done so ... conversely if staying meant the same we all would have stayed.
My advice ... whatever you chose will not have an impact on changing her sitch .... it will change yours and only you will know if its for the best or not. Just do it, no words or grand announcements ... lead by actions not words. When I left after the touch and go there was no doubt, it was funny as she approached me about 2-3 days after I discovered the BD2 text message wanting to figure out the bills in March .... I gave her a simple shrug and told her that was no longer my concern as I would be out by the weekend. Silence and a blank stare followed and to this day I do not think she actually believed I would walk. I did and I do not regret it a bit.
If you are concerned about the kids and the Christmas memories .... they already have memories of mom bringing the boyfreind around during this time of year ... you leaving will just be a part of that but in no way should you feel guilty ... this was not what you wanted nor your choice. I think often to many times the LBS hands around 'for the kids' expecting the medal of valor when if we look deep down we are just looking for an excuse to stay hoping this storm passes and we can salvage the M .... there are times we must protect ourselves from what they are doing to us.
Time wise may not be the right time to go ... I personally would take the next 2 weeks and quietly plan and arrange to start my new life with 2018 and stealthily be out by then.
Last edited by job; 12/12/1709:19 AM. Reason: added spaces between paragraphs
