I'll continue with the roommate treatment. What I have to learn to work on is the friend part. I think that's what I struggle with...and where my confusion regarding Sandi's advice comes in. Sandi makes it sound like being friends isn't really in our best interest as that is more for WAS, not wayward. She suggests tough love. Of course that advice seems more like beginning stage stuff. I struggle with it because when she is cold or distant towards me, its hard to want to be friendly back. And I know that it doesn't me be BFF's, just friendly. The counter advice (counter might be the wrong word here but hopefully you know what I mean) is to detach and move on so that she begins to realize that I am moving on. Its hard to work out in my head that being friendly will allow her to think I am moving on.
Yes, patience is something I continue to need to work on. Man...that is hard. Especially since it has been a year already. I know that is not long when compared to the overall process, but in real life, living with something like this for a year (and more to come) seems like forever. I am strong willed, but patience can be hard to have.
I admit to being surprised that you think that maybe asking her out to a coffee might be ok to try at this point. I like the idea, but you don't think that asking her to do something alone with me will cause her to pull back again? I do realize you said to experiment to see what works which indicates it might not, but you think that's a reasonable play at this point?
Thank you so much for your reply. It gave me a bit to think on!
