There'd need to be a true awakening on his part, a desire to face God and cleanse himself from his sick lifestyle, and a commitment to a long-term treatment plan and a pattern of long-term change before we could try again. I wish it would be much easier than that, but these are serious issues.
Agreed. There's a WHOLE lot of growth and change he'd have to do to make this right. Don't settle for less.
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In my case, being too nice and weak gave my husband the green light to do whatever he wants. I need to work on changing myself.
You know, I don't think of myself as a doormat - I'm a strong-minded woman, a little too opinionated for some really. But on the other hand - I'm easy-going and accommodating. I thought that's what you do in a marriage, be flexible. But in retrospect, my ex took advantage of that. I should have demanded more of him, demanded he treat me better, demanded my fair share of everything - time alone, money, attention.
I think about the girls I knew in college, the ones who had men falling over themselves to give them jewelry and take them on fancy dates. They weren't prettier than me and they definitely weren't as smart or entertaining as me. But they had one thing I didn't - THEY DIDN'T CARE. If a guy didn't step up to their expectations they would just get another one. The guys knew this and it drove them crazy trying to woo them. I despised it at the time but now I understand better - being independent and not NEEDING someone puts you in the position of power.
