Just catching up a bit and could not agree more with Irish and Job. You know I had a bit where the MLCr was done with OM and we moved back in together. I did not give her time to get over that relationship ... she basically grabbed a vine and as she swung from my tree to his, she eventually swung back to his again ..... during replay that long term relationship is no match for the drug rush feelz they experience in hindsight even if it was not OM she pursued I have little doubt it would have been an OM2. Just to add to what Job and Irish said .. not only do you have to allow her to get OM2 out of the system ... she also has to come to terms with herself and what put her on this path ... this was something I thought mine was working on but the work takes a good deal of effort and commitment and I do not think she could do this while spending energy trying to fix the marriage she tossed so back in the tunnel she went.
I did the pick me dance for about 2 years then as I grew and changed I realized I deserved better. to touch on your statement
Quote:
If you can’t decide between me and OM2, then please let me go. Months ago, you asked me to let you go and I did. Now I ask the same of you. Sign the divorce papers and let me go. I deserve to pursue my own happiness just as much as you are and I can’t move on/out until we D.
Its words vs actions ... her actions must match the words. For me I basically understood she would never admit she had chosen OM over me ... deep down even in the fog they know they are making a huge mistake but can not help but see where it may lead feeling we will be just where they left us. Her actions told me all I needed to know ... and in my mind till she actually showed me she wanted to roll up the sleeves and work on herself then possibly the marriage I had to make the choice of what I would and would not tolerate. This was when I did a good deal of list writing and boundary work.
