Contact from the dark side.

[Irish M]

Hi Rd, Bright, Bttrfly, Peace and Vapo.

Sorry I've been away from the group this time a year is so busy and I don;t get much time to sit down and read up on everyone's progress.

RD, yes XW must have a copy of the MLC handbook. She seems to react as expected. Her mothers own MLC lasted over 3 years.. and even then from what I heard from several family members she never came back to the loving, caring person she once was. It was always about her and her survival. Surviving what? that's a tough question to answer. I guess surviving her own depression and avoiding the deep look into herself to see what damage she caused. She clearly avoided any discussion of it. I guess that;'s why now with her own daughter in MLC she is seeking therapy.

Bright, Yes I do see progress, She had the strength to see me face to face after 2 years. Hopefully, if she is still in therapy it will guide her through. Or at least make her healthy enough to want to really connect with the girls.

Bttrfly, thanks for all the support you give me. I think the pickle shes stuck in , is at the bottom of a jar with the lid screwed on real tight.

Peace, yes , I hope one day too she gets well enough to start to rebuild what once was a loving relationship between mom and daughters.

Vapo, your point 1 , they do want to see mom. Only thing is they want old mom not this new person. We have discussed it and I have told them over and over they are free to reach out to her. They have a certain connection with her. They know she is not well and she is better off alone. They believe one day she will wake up and really make an effort. Until then they wish to not see her like this.

On your point 2. Yes she got to me. Seeing her sitting across from me for the first time in over 2 years i felt for a minute like she was her old self. That hearing her voice brought me back to before all this MLC. It didn't last long once she started talking about her plans and she went on. Clearly she was either poking out of her hole and had a slight clarity going on or she was just playing the game. Saying what i wanted to hear. Either way i shook it off.


The only news I got from XW was when I needed some government papers that was sent to her instead of me. these are for admission to college for D17. You see last summer she applied to College and was refused since her mid terms were low and they wanted to see improvement when she finally finished high school. Well she did pull up her grade and successfully graduate. Her application to college had to wait until this winter semester starring January 2018.

So I message Ex

Hi, can you mail or email me the documents you received from the school board on D17 final grades. I need it so she can apply for college. She missed the fall registration due to low grades but has brought them up and ready to apply again, thanks

Ohhh poor D17. She is going through so much, She should see a therapist. You know Irish, I want to see them but they don't accept my choices. I can;t do more for her,. Now you are the "best" dad, you fix it. Good night.


So that was Nov 28. The last I wrote her and the last i heard from her. I will not reach out to her aver again for anything concerning the girls. Narcissism 101 . she will not help anybody but herself.

that brings me to something i stumbled on. I now see that MLC is narcissism . 100% read this , i'm sure it will reflect much of who your spouse has become.
Mine hits all 14 points.


1- Two faced, putting friends and family down behind their backs.

2- Tendency to blame their lack of success and failures on others.

3- Acts different in public than in private.

4- Irresponsible and unreliable.

5- Arrogant, acts superior to people close to them.

6- Lives in a fantasy world which may include porn, flirting, affairs and dreams of unlimited success and fame.

7- Addiction to this fantasy oriented behavior.

8- Will lie and distort facts and change events to suit their own agenda.

9- Be irresponsible with money.

10- Emotionally distant and unavailable unless they want something.

11- Lack sympathy for others, especially those they exploit.

12- Be very controlling and unable to relax.

13- Regularly provoke people and blame them for the fight.

14- Have trouble admitting their mistakes.


Hoping you all a great pre-holiday time to enjoy local activities with your kids and families.

I am busy with work and gathering items for the homeless. Lots of running around.