Cherry, I'll try to write a longer post about your whole situation soon but regarding today. I guess it's best to not call and let all hell out. One time I took a video of my daughter standing on the balcony crying for her father, calling out his name, and I sent it to him. I didn't say anything else. His response? "Stop making me feel terrible." Yesterday when my husband called to say he couldn't come because he was working on his huge five bedroom mansion where he lives alone I only said a few words. I don't even remember what they were, but I could feel the stress in my body and the resentment and sadness and every possible feeling all at once. I can't imagine being such a bad human being. How can you prioritize a house over a beautiful child? If that's even what he was doing...
I do think you need to do something though. If there's any older man (father, uncle, friend, Imam) in your family or community I'd have them call up your husband and say all the things you wish to say to shame him and direct him towards change. Whereas you have very little influence, a respected man in the community would have a lot of influence, if there's anyone like that.
I hope you got through the rest of the day with your kids. They need so much love, so much enrichment, so much help to prepare them for this tough world we live in. It feels impossible sometimes to set aside our own problems to focus on them. I keep trying every day with my daughter but when she goes to bed my mind just tries to make sense of how we ended up in this situation and how I didn't prevent it.
