KML, I think this is one of my major weaknesses - not being able to visualize the good things that may happen. I'm too risk averse nowadays (I wasn't previously). It's possible I'll find someone new, but probably not any time soon. I'd guess it'd be five or ten years before I'd be a good partner for anyone and that long for my daughter to be more independent. I don't mean to shut out possibilities which I may be doing. I'll keep trying to improve in that area. Thanks for the tip about the index card. I'll do that. I don't know yet if my husband will actually want to talk tonight. He came late to take our daughter and he asked why I can't find a babysitter (meaning why do I have to come?). It's obvious there's no need on my part to say more than the bare minimum. Most likely he'll say he's too tired too talk, delay it, and then keep delaying it. This has been his strategy for years now except for the night in August when he said he's leaving again. Thanks for your excellent advice in any case!
Cherry, thanks so much for your encouragement. I tried to read through your thread but wow, there's so much history! I'll keep reading! I'm not sure if I caught everything but it sounds like your husband is also of Middle Eastern descent or from a Muslim majority country? Mine is. I can see the similarities between our situations. Our daughter was around a year old when my husband started checking out and saying stuff like "I don't like my life. I don't like being married. Our daughter was a mistake..." Only difference is that it sounds like your husband was / is still attracted to you whereas mine simply said he's not. For the first few years he would say I was beautiful but I'm sure once there was another woman in the picture, one that didn't just have a baby, who's young and free, and has lots of energy to have fun then suddenly I wasn't appealing anymore. That must be so hard with two little kids and working. That's not fair. I'll respond more about your situation on your thread ASAP but it seems we have no choice but to do the hard work by ourselves without a partner. It's so sad for the innocent children. I'd do anything to fix my marriage for my daughter. I've been following the DB guidelines but there's no change whatsoever. If anything my husband is so happy that I stopped calling and don't bother him anymore.
