Gordie #14: the end of my M to MLC W, I think

[roist]

That is a big question and one only you get to answer. Of coursewe will share our thoughts though........

The D as she envisaged it is not working out as she thought. Nowshe is thinking that the status quo is better so no rush to change. She has the two worlds she wanted, so it's not so bad for her.

OM is not likely to likethis situation dragging on and often couldpressure W to commit fully. That will strain them. But as he alreadybegan a R with a married woman with loads of kids, his normal compass must be off too, so who really knows.

But that is secondary. What you want is primary. Take the time to figure this out.

I am no specialist but what I see as a worse situation is away turning around and saying she wants to stay married. Don't get me wrong. That is a great objective. But if it happens now I doubt it would take more than six months for her to flip to the other side again.

So I am saying she is no where near ready to R with you. She isn't someone you would want to R with either. So for me any R is off the cards until she proves it is feasible.

So that leaves continuing limbo or pushing forward.
Limbo [censored] but as we all know this will take time. So n in a way
you are gaining time. And there is always a chance albeit slim, that the could just turn around.

However can you or would you want to or even could you live that way?

There are many good arguments to deciding that this situation does not suit you and to push forward towards separate paths. Ultimately that is often what tilts the balance back in favour of the lbs. But usually not immediately. Often it is long after that this decision becomes attractive to WAS because itwas a strong decision done kindly but firmly. Initially it is received badly because they aren't getting what they want.

Food for thought.......

Best wishes