Jim, your affirmation was helpful. I did talk to my husband tonight by phone. I told him I want to get back to my career and move to the city where I'll find a job. I ran through some numbers with him. He kept saying ok, we need to meet and talk in person. He said he'll come tomorrow. I offered for him to fly to the new city one weekend per month to take our daughter so he's not 'burdened' by seeing her multiple times per week. He gave some excuses about how he's just busy but he likes to see her. Nothing really good or bad came from the call. My husband didn't say anything that would indicate he wants to stay married, but he didn't totally say no to helping financially when we move.
Caz, yes, perhaps the move will be a wake-up call for my husband or will at least get my life back-on-track. I've been thinking about it and researching the pro's and con's as much as possible. I asked my daughter tonight what she thinks. She's only three, so of course she can't really comprehend what I'm asking, but she said she'd be happy to move to the new city and wouldn't mind seeing her father less. She didn't seem too affected when he didn't show up today. I guess if we get divorced she'll grow up never knowing what it was like to have a father present and involved in her every day life. I'm sure she'll have a lot of thoughts about that in the future. I hope she's not mad at me someday. I loved my husband and gave him second chances for years. Even now I'd change all my plans and stay here if he committed to counseling and other actions to reconcile because I don't want to divorce him. My other worst fear is that something bad will happen to me and my daughter won't have someone good to raise her and she'll be alone in the world. For that reason I really wish to stay with my husband even if it's a practical marriage, but I can't want that by myself. He has to want it too. The other stuff you say is all true. Thanks again for your encouragement. I haven't seen any updates from you on your thread but I'll keep checking.
