Infidelity/WAH, my story pt 11, filing for D

[PsySara]

Juju,
Thank you for such a well written, thoughtful response. I definitely agree that marriage is supposed to be through thick and thin. I guess I presented my thoughts poorly. My point was I had stopped giving my husband the "cream" and was only giving him the leftovers. I was sarcastic, resentful and would pile up a list of his deficiencies on my head and unload them when we argued. Do I still have moments where I snap at him and don't give a crap about my appearance, heck yeah! But I had gotten to the point where I wasn't even caring how I looked at home.

Since DBing I went back to my former days where I dressed up and put on makeup even when I wasn't going out. Nothing fancy but if I answered the door at 9 am I wouldn't be embarrassed. I also have worked on being more present when interacting with my kids and WH. I was previously just going through the motions until I could escape to whatever time-suck I had lined up. I think believing that marriage is unconditional can make for complacency, it did in my case. The fact is more marriages are ending in divorce than ever before shows that most people no longer agree with it being guaranteed.

I just want to be a great wife and mother and am trying new things as the old PsySara wasn't effective. My resentment and anger were making me look like a very unhappy person. And who wants to hang out with that? My anger was and is a huge issue and I need to deal with it.

Anyways, kids just woke up and I am excited to see their reaction to their little play kitchen I spent 4 hours assembling yesterday, woot!