Gordie #14: the end of my M to MLC W, I think

[Gordie]

AndrewP—I hadn’t thought of that and will ask my L.

K—thank you. I know and that’s why I feel trapped. Moving out will hurt my child custody claim so I can’t.

Journaling:

One day at a time. It was a tough day. I tried to keep my chin up and give myself pep talks all day but deep down I was hurting. Hearing stbx tell me she doesn’t know if she wants to D and that she wants me and OM2 threw me for a loop. I think my expectations were finally down to zero and somehow this raises them. But I don’t want to be in competition. I want to be the only choice. She is playing with my head and heart. Somehow it’s easier to be outright rejected. I can’t sleep. I miss having a woman who loves me and cares about me and holds me. I was tempted to reach out to her today but I resisted.