Don't worry about standing up for your boundaries. She will lash out as you are showing control and not letting her walk all over you. Keep that up! You need to gain your respect back from her. Without that, she will never find you attractive in the future.
Also, DO NOT put your focus on RECON!!!! Let that go! You don't know what will happen. And this is a looooooooooooong road ahead. Don't short circuit your personal growth by focusing on recon. It's a fools errand.
Your FULL FOCUS is only on you and your kids! That's it.
