Chris, it's hard to translate the nuances of a conversation into posts, but if you're sure she's lying about still being in contact with OM, you did right by leaving. Don't fall for her bull.
M:23 T:26 Me:53, Wife: 60 S:18 D:16 filed 7/16 W moved out 4/28/17
“ Im trying to be patient here but it is getting to the point that I do not even recognize you anymore.. I do not know who you are, or how to help and I’ve tried to just give you space bc that’s what it seems like you want bc I don’t know what else to do. I’m sorry if I’m not doing the things you want but I haven’t been able to have a complete convo w/you to understand what you need/want. I thought we would finally have that opportunity 2ngt and it was cut short. I do not know what else to do and will stop reaching out”
Then she mentions how no matter what I thought our wedding day was the best and happiest day of her life.
M:30 W:28 T:9 MR:2.5 NoKids Seperation 1: 9/16-12/16 Move back in: 1/17 BD: 8/15 She moved out: 9/1
Amazing how she turns it all around. If someone had not read the former threads, they'd swear she was the LBW pleading with her WAH. It seems incredibly important to her that Chris says he wants the D first. IDK if it's to take the monkey off her back, or what she'll tell her family & friends. Kind of strange how she applies pressure for him to take the initiative on the papers, etc. I can't think of any other reason, other than she thinks she comes through smelling like a rose.
as soon as she gets her phone cleaned, she'll offer to let you see it.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Chris I actually think you did a pretty good job. I bet it i the frist time your W has seen you respond like that and just walk out. Also notice that she did not bring the D papers and gave you some lame response. I would also point out that she did not want to show you her phone which proably would have proved that she was still in contact with OM.
I agree with everyone else, she is trying to manipulate you and get some personal satisfaction of knowing that you are still on the hook. Continue to hold the line with you boundary of no communication unless OM is out of the picture and you have proof or until you get tired and are ready to file yourself.
Chris, I agree with Joseph, I don't see anything you did or said wrong in that convo. I actually think you did quite well! You stood up to her, and when she kept trying to manipulate you into feeling like you are the one doing something wrong then you stood your ground and walked away rather than let it escalate into a fight. The right thing to do at this point is STOP CONTACT. Let her think about all that and throw her little temper tantrums by text, you've got better things to do than get drawn into it.
I also agree with Sandi, as soon as you left she got about the business of cleaning up that phone, LOL! "Sure you can see it in just sec..." (delete delete delete)
I forgot to mention, at one point during the convo, I did use the phrase "b/c you are cheating on me with another person"... I can tell she was taking back by that.
Quote:
It seems incredibly important to her that Chris says he wants the D first.
This is accurate, during the convo she was saying things like; well your just staying in this moment, and waiting for me to make the decision so you don't have to make the decision. (this is speaking to D of course).
M:30 W:28 T:9 MR:2.5 NoKids Seperation 1: 9/16-12/16 Move back in: 1/17 BD: 8/15 She moved out: 9/1
Just got Text: "Nothing?" "I was hoping to move forward and come up w/a game plan or get closure...for both of us. Chris I will not sit here and try to communicate and work thruough things w/no response. I dont know what to do; r u around this w/e? I can print the paperwork off to sign adn be done with this. I guess there is still a few things we need to decide like if I owe you money, and what to do with certain physical gifts we got for our wedding."
Am I going to miss a window to recon?
Last edited by Cadet; 12/08/1703:16 AM. Reason: Combine posts
M:30 W:28 T:9 MR:2.5 NoKids Seperation 1: 9/16-12/16 Move back in: 1/17 BD: 8/15 She moved out: 9/1
