I could be wrong, but I think part of what you may be missing is the need to have regular conversations with your W about the issues you (both) need to work on. The reason I think that is because all the stories in the book take place in the context of regular weekly visits with Schnarch (MC/ST), who regularly queries the couple looking for clues to their difficulties and feeds back to them suggestions about what the underlying issues might be. You might ask your C about that... as I say I could be wrong, but the changes don't just magically "happen", something has to keep it in motion, and I think that something might just be regular dialog. For instance, if I want to make an issue over kissing, then the first step would be for me to initiate some pleasant discussion geared towards seeing if she would be agreeable. If not, then there would have to be some discussion (possibly ongoing) about the reason(s) why not. It would be during those discussions that she would have to finally confront herself, being finally unable to offer a plausible reason or reasons not to indulge my stated desire. Does that sound like what you understand?
