Dear ciluzen ..thanks for visiting my stitch and for the brilliant words you shared. I guess yes I am trying to be the light house in this case as with my H nothing else worked. Not sure if it would work but then again nothing in this world is certain.

When I started this journey I got a lot of sound advice but somehow when our emotions were high it is difficult to listen and put into practice. I think it take at least a year to get hold of ones emotions and start figuring how we want our next life to be like. Once we reach this acceptance stage that’s when things get better for us.

I was told need to be patient but that was such a difficult skill to obtain. I was told to take care of myself and not wait. I honestly failed so many times on my expectation that he will come and take care of me. I was told focus on your kids which I did but always were looking for his input or feedback. I was told to loose expectations which took a lot of time to master. Every birthday came I thought he will surprise me or the kids. None of that happened.

There are lots of great advices in the first email I got from job when I started my stitch and I keep going back to them sometimes to learn something I missed the first time.

In the beginning when I started email I was trying to think were these coming from Spence of strength or weakness. I tried to analyze and figure out my own motives. I am sure they are not weakness as I don’t beg or plead as a matter of fact I don’t even think I can be with him again and I stated that. I just wish him well and hope to have a good working relationship with him one day. When he is able to find his voice a speak.

Thanks ciluzen again for for nice works... really sppreciated.

M 45 H 45
D1 12 D2 9
BD 04/14
Living two different state
Not officially separated