MLC or WAS... either way, I'm here

[LAJar]

peace, You wrote it exactly, I have such fear of the D process and anxiety anticipating and thinking about it. It's not surprising, but I just don't know why it is fear. I feel so much more fearful of things I had never considered before. It's not fear of dying, getting sick, getting robbed, typical stuff. It's fear of this D. Fear of going back to my home alone. I can live in a new home alone, just not the one we bought together. Such an odd realization.

devvo, It was humiliating. As peace said, to allow a stranger to deliver this blow served up by someone you thought was your best friend and family, is hard to wrap your brain around. I understand D is difficult, but the way most MLCer handle it, in the worst way, to exact the most pain. Was it necessary to serve me at work and during the holidays? I get he claimed I was hiding, but really was that necessary?! All of it felt very vindictive. I hope you're right devvo and he soon runs out of this ammunition. I doubt it, considering he still has to see my response to the D. He won't like me asking/getting anything he doesn't feel I should have.

job, I obviously knew I was going to be served at some point. I had just hoped he'd finally just send it by mail. His L did when notifying me he had been retained. That was over a month ago, in reverse order. Notify me of L, then serve me... ridiculous. Funny, he used to send me flowers to work. Never thought he'd send D paperwork there too.

I do pray this fool wakes up at some point and has this realization, before all of the damage is irreperable. I don't think I'll be around to see it either way, but that's how much I still love the old him. I don't want this to affect his life forever. How much he's changed in such a short period of time. Again I shake my head.