Great tips, thank you. The reason I told her she can take it back is because in the past she has had the thinking that things are pretty permanent once you start and there's no going back.
Yeah I get that. But she knows, she knows full well that all she has to do is lift a finger towards you and you'll welcome her back with open arms. Hopefully TXHubby's thread and Benito's (unfortunately Benito suspected his GF might be snooping so he deleted all his early stuff) gave you an idea of what you need to do... your W needs to learn to miss you. As long as she knows you're readily and easily available you'll be Plan B. TXHubby's W was actively having an affair and he tried to placate her in every way possible. He groveled and begged and pleaded and promised her the world. Did she find that attractive? No she probably found it laughable. He suffered day after day until one day he woke up and said "screw this, what am I doing!!?? Why am I making myself miserable over some lying, cheating W that doesn't even care about me?" From that moment on the tide shifted. He became the man he hadn't been for quite some time. He ceased to care about his W and became 100% focused on his own awesomeness. He got out and GAL'd and didn't tell her a thing about what he was doing. THEN is when his W realized what she was losing. Not some wimpy, sniveling, desperate excuse for an H, but a strong, attractive, independent man who had his choice of women. He went from Plan B straight to Unobtainable, and suddenly SHE was the desperate one. And that all transpired while they were living under the same roof. His case was kind of extreme as far as how much he detached, if you read Benito's he took a more loving approach but it was the same philosophy of leaving his W be while he worked on himself. And that's DB'ing in a nutshell.
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My prayer is that it doesn't get physical and she comes to her senses soon. However, that is probably a pipe dream.
Sorry to say that based on the many situations we've seen come and go here over the years, it is very unlikely that she will just snap out of it quickly. It will probably take months or even a year or more. There IS a good chance you can save things, but it's a long, difficult road. I think Benito and his W started reconnecting in less than a year, 8 months or so? But that's about the fastest I've seen it happen.
