[quote]the idea that "the ONLY path or even the MOST LIKELY path to reconciliation requires separation just seems nonsensical to me.
Jim, I am going to tell you what my IC who was also my MC told me. In 25 plus years when she had couples that came in committed and had the attitude that "divorce is not an option" she had a 100% success rate in restoring their marriages.
If you want to stay married and act like roommates for the kids and the financial security that is fine but I think you need to openly discuss it.
If you are not, on January 2nd I would sit your wife down and say "honey I love you and I adore you and I know I have neglected you in the past. I can not continue to live in a marriage with no intimacy. I think you are beautiful and sexy and I can't continue to live in the same house as you without being able to kiss, touch and ML to you" (you get my point)
If she says "I can't give you that" then you need to walk and don't look back. (not literally) Try to convince her to leave and if not then consider leasing an Apt for a year. You have to strongly and confidently communicate to her that these terms are not acceptable to you and are not negotiable.
Look man, like JRuss said you will be fine. You seem like a good dude who is extremely intelligent. Imagine being with someone who wants to be with you and not worrying about tracking devices, burner phones, loser OM and BFF. You kids are older they will be fine.
Maybe down the line she comes back. Maybe she doesn't. Maybe she comes back and you don't want her back.
How long can you keep living under these circumstances?
