i did not "trade" down... OM is, as far as the world is concerned, an above average decent man... he is hardworking, in shape, an involved father... comes from a nice family... has his own nice family... has a professional career... does not do drugs, does not drink too much... he is a lot like my husband... an all-around good guy... i had 2 additional EAs--one, about a year after i began the A with OM, and the other very short-lived, during the A... and the EA OMs (OM2-3) were also all-around nice guys... my EA with OM3 mainly took place during the beginnings of my separation, and went on while i was on the opposite coast... until i met someone there, where i was living...

i am telling you, i could write a series... it has been some years since all of this happened, and i am now, after much time and counseling, at a place where i can own what i did without all the heavy guilt that comes along with it... i had a lot of guilt for a long time... guilt about the betrayal to a man who did not deserve it... betrayal to my sons who did not deserve a mother who moved away for 18 mos... tears still come to my eyes when i think about these things... but there does come a time when the one who caused the destruction has to get passed that... when he/she has to put down the burden (have you ever read The Pilgrim's Progess by John Bunyan?) if he/she is to really live again... if he/she is ever going to be available to the people in his/her life...