Told her we both need to be fully committed to this-- "all in". ... Basically she said that reading ahead through some of the intimacy exercises, it was "very hard for her to imagine" the two of us doing some of those things. In fact for the more intimate things, she said she "couldn't see it at all" from where she was currently standing (and she cited how awkward the kiss felt), nor could she see how we could get there. She was, however, (or so she said), "willing to try" to get to that point.
What is your mindset on how you want this sitch to go down? Are you going to hang in there even if she never fully commits as long as she doesn’t see OM, or do you think at some point you will decide you deserve more than a wife who is “half” in?
The first sentence above was you telling her what you need, then a few sentences of her not committing to what you need, but not really shooting it down, and NOTHING was accomplished; still status quo.
I really think you need to back off from her, go out, do your own thing and focus on improving yourself (work, social life, sports, trying new things like sky diving, taking flying lessons, whatever) and let her be. I am not saying to tell her you “done”, I’m not saying to be mean to her or ignore her… I’m just saying to be Jim, not Jim and Wife. If she asks to join, then feel free to let her, but if she doesn’t, don’t invite her. I think your past where being mysterious is a benefit (but I could be wrong), but I think you need to start being awesome and her want to join in on that.
M - 9 1/2 years 5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA 10/31/16 - We sold house 01/10/18 - D Finalized
