Arista so nicely stated what I have been saying all along. You never got a firm commitment, it's always been a gray area and working with that gray area is not piecing and you are 10 steps ahead of where she is.
Look, I am going to be wholeheartedly honest here. I applaud your work and commitment. But, from what it's been looking like, and what has been said in MC..... her heart isn't in it. Likely you can keep her away from OM for a while, but I don't think she will ever put herself wholly in this M unless it's her saying "I love you, I want to have to a new fulfilling M. Right now she is going through the motions, just like she did when she was a kid in her catholic upbringing.
How do I see your M having any hope at all? By you simply letting her go. If she can't give you a firm commitment with her heart truly in it, just let her go. Let her be free. I know you are terrified to do it, but if she isn't all in and just keeps doing what she is "supposed to do", I don't think the intimacy will ever be restored and you will not be returned to a true M.
I personally think you do deserve to have true intimacy with your wife.
