So... what are you challenging yourself on? What are your strategies for increasing differentiation?
Oh man...where do I start? The goal of this week is to stop "feeling" responsible for my Ws mood. Next is to pay attention to "why" I want a hug or reach out for affection. I'm trying to pay close attention to my behaviors to make sure my underlying intentions isn't to illicit a response. I'm not sure if this qualifies as anything but I said a really funny joke to W and instead of "basking" in her laughter, I did a "hit and run" and left the room while she was laughing as if I didn't need her response.
It's a very tricky process and will take some discipline. An example of a huge mistake I made today was that I rubbed my Ws thigh and she backed away. I immediately knew it was because she felt sweaty from working in the yard. I made the mistake of asking her if "it was because she was sweaty" about an hour later while she was talking about how nasty she felt. Bad Bad Bad. This indicated that I'm "remembering" her behaviors and "questioning" her motives. It should have not even registered.
I asked my C the same thing. She's going to coach us with this stuff thankfully. BTW. She was explaining how good PM is to my W and quoted the "cellulite" quote which must have appeared in some of his other work. She's pretty damn smart and DOES get Schnarch from what I've seen. She just doesn't have experience of navigating us through his method. It will be up to us to come to our own realizations, validate them with her, and then get coaching. I'll share her assignments with you. The feeling responsible one was the Cs idea.
Anywhere is walking distance if you have the time
-Steven Wright
