I'm very glad that I did recognize the signal and order SSM, and end up here. My H has been great thru this whole thing. He has taken some responsibility for my lack of SD. Since our wedding a year ago (Apr 26 ), he has gained 50+lbs. He admitted to me just the other night that he no longer feels comfortable ML with me because of this...

(via instant messenger)H:cause I feel self concious about my weight, and dont really find it romantic when I am trying to be on top of my wife kissing her and feel like I am slapping her with belly fat and have no endurance for anything without running out of breath

I asked what I should to until he loses the weight...

H: well, the full weight loss goal doesn't have to be reached before [your] true boy pops back into the picture. As he sees the weight coming off 10 lbs at a time he'll be more excited, more energetic, and feel more sexually confident to take care of his [fish].

I think this was a great break-through for us. We are BOTH taking responsibility for the gap in our SDs. Isn't it amazing what can happen when you and your SO can finally be open and honest? I am so thankful to everyone here for helping me and my H get started with the baby steps!

><>