I get that I have a right to both privacy and what I tell my parents...
I just need to figure out what is A) appropriate to share (nothing doesn't seem right, nor does every detail... thinking broad brush strokes (we both contributed to this situation (not sure if we talk about me not being nice to her, not working with her on budget, and her not forcing issue of budget, giving in to spending... and her finding other man she wants to be with). She is leaving, I wish it was different but I can't stop or dissuade her as she feels justified and there is another man waiting for her on the other side? or just more vanilla.
B) won't destroy dramatically increase any possible road back in future. (kind of worried that any disclosure to either family might make any possible future much more difficult... but know this is a needle in a haystack anyway so not sure I should really care outside of the fact that she might get more mean during mediation/D).
C) how to handle what she's telling her parents... and what to do if I'm right there and she lies to them in front of me (assuming we go with the We're Getting a Divorce, And NO QUESTIONS if you love us... spiel.
D) I know best case scenario if I tell my parents about A or any details... they WILL 90% talk to her parents about it.
E) what we tell kids WILL be different (not going along with just D and no QUESTIONS because we're private people... that seems cold and rude to them...)
F) what to tell friends... I'm planning on saying that she decided she didn't want to be married to me anymore and left. (Know she probably wants to keep it to were D. It's sad... need your support.).
Me 47 STBXW 44 M ~20 D13 S15 BD mid 17 A Disc. 2 months after BD but evidence found ~2yr OM decade older S Imminent D Soon after
