I can very much relate to what you say about 'feeling slutty'! I am the LD in my M. In the beginning of our R, I initiated about half of the time, if not more. I would MB in front of him, I would give him BJs everynight (and swallow!), I would be wearing sexy lingerie and waiting for him when he got home, and on and on. But somewhere along the line, I've lost all of that. I think for me what started it was when I was waiting for him, all dressed up (I even had a porno on!), but when he got home he was too tired to do anything. Boy, was I crushed! I felt so hurt and rejected. I felt like I was being 'slutty' when he rejected me. But that was my problem, not his. After that incident, I didn't want to take the chance of being rejected again, so I didn't dress up for him anymore.
Now, I realize that he loves it when I dress up for him, even if we don't end up doing anything. He loves knowing that I am doing it just for him and nobody else! So now, I'm working on not taking it personally. I'm trying to learn from what everyone is talking about; about being 'myself' and not getting my validation from anyone else, including my H.
BTW, my H has told me several times that it's okay to be 'slutty' with your SO, because it's not really being 'slutty' if you're doing it with the person you love. He wants me to be more slutty when it comes to the bedroom.
