Separation imminent....

[Hermes]

H....Married Man's Sex Primer deals with a lot of Alpha/Beta behavior. You may want to check it out. It's a good read.

I just picked it up thanks will read it shortly.

I will say this though...you have got to let her go. Stop the analyzing your MR is dead, there is nothing you can do to save it at this time and anything you try to do will push her away farther. she wants nothing from you.

Let her stay downstairs, let her move out. Or you could tell her that you have been doing some thinking and you have realized that you no longer want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you. You don't want to be with someone who is in an active A. That is not what you want in your life and you deserve better. That you think it is best if she took that apartment ASAP and we can talk about finances and the kids when the time comes.

You want to set her free? Let her know. It may help you start to get some respect back and is certainly Alpha behavior.

Really hard to accept the new reality of dead MR... (I mean it's not new... it had been on a slow path to this for a while prior to BD as neither of us was trying anymore (me with Depression and recovery, her with OM and neglect of R that she didn't find satisfying).

But feels more real each day as we are 20 days out from officially starting the Destruction of MR with telling parents, kids, and I'm assuming friends (we've both told selected friends... she's got a suspicious number of HappyHours on her calendar and I can only assume she's meeting all her and our joint friends to start telling them that we're getting a divorce and how sad it is... not telling them she's leaving and happy as a clam for the R with OM).

I am sticking to my GAL activities from now on... just need to be careful as it feels like she's throwing me under bus with kids... (saying "I don't know where you dad is or who he is with... or even when he's coming home)... and I worry that her telling me to go out as much as I need to even if it's every night... (which I do not do just 2-3 nts. She stays away from home until 7-8 or after each work night because she's got Happy Hours, Workouts, etc.).

Truth is I don't want to be with someone who's in Active A, doesn't want to be with me. I do deserve better than this... and I know there are women out there who would really appreciate a guy like me (decent looking, takes care of himself, dresses nice, working on himself, with high morals and integrity).

Just not sure I want to say this directly to her as she's becoming more erratic the closer we get to World BD. Although, I'm slowly becoming emotionally stronger (bit by bit), to start walking away from the crazy vs. trying to defend/argue/engage...