Thanks Gordie. Baby steps seems to be the only way to go. I think that initiating things is my main problem. I have this fear that if I don't keep things going then what are we left with. I know better, and little by little I am letting go, but it's tricky. Of course when I initiate and the outcome is negative, it only seems to hurt me. I have been a lot better about that in the last week. I mean I've been getting better about it for longer than that, but I mean better as far as wrapping my head around it and detaching from the emotional side of it. I have to work to get there...but I've been getting there.
Luckily I've gotten better about going to sleep. I was having a hard time getting to sleep like you mentioned, but for whatever reason I seem better with that now. I think its because she hasn't been going out drinking till late hours and when I go to bed, she is already asleep. I think at that point, I feel a little peace because she is asleep so at that moment there isn't anything to deal with and I can let my guard down.
I just hope that as I get more used to detaching that I don't completely lose my desire to wait this thing out. That might actually be my biggest fear...that if I detach too much I'll stop wanting to make things work and be done with her. I don't really want that, but I understand that its a real possibility.