Wife Wants to Leave Marriage 8

[Vanilla]

I am always glad when I see anger. It marks a new phase in the Kubler Ross cycle.

Anger comes tinged with other emotions, there is red anger, raging and destructive. There is white anger which is directive and structured. There is green anger which is creative and forward moving. Black anger which is murderous and evil.

This WW would drive a saint to anger. She has worms in her brains, truly wayward. It can't end well. Protect yourself and your son, and getting this sort of destructive anger may cause you to do something really stupid.

So get out of the way, go no contact, I speak as one whose xWH had at least 9 OW. Many of whom were scuzzies of the first and last order. I still see two of them in and around the village plying their trade. It's getting old news. Both get their knickers off for any male in sight.....

Would I want the ex back knowing this? Really I am done and detached and let go. Now to move on.

Your son deserves your help, children (because he is so), want to love both parents. In this I agree with Ginger and I read you justifying your actions over and over in telling your son in the way you did. I think this way is damaging to your R with your child. And I am sad for it, for both of you, this needs repair not rationalisation. I understand the reason and identify the anger and I can't validate it. These matters are private for your family, not a public matter. It can have more delicacy.

Children know much more than we realise and as much as they want to know they also do not want to know. Your anger is not your child's anger. He needs you and your anger will create distance to you not WW. At best is not in your interest and at worst could seriously backfire. You married WW knowing her history, I assume her mother and grandmothers issues were out there when you M (even if you didn't see it). That is your choice and you chose her as the mother of your son. Like it or not he is a genetic mix of the two of you. He can not deny that part of himself.

In my view you can heal this with your precious son. He is old enough to know and make his own evaluation of his mother. If you can apologise for how you said this that would help a great deal and say it will not happen again. This is for your benefit as well as that of your son. Your son sounds discrete and private, this is an invasion of his rights of that discretion and privacy. Those are my views.

Frankly WW doesn't matter, your child does.

Those are my views.

V